October 8th, 2014
I hate today.
I don’t use that word lightly, but with every fiber of my being I hate today.
Most days I do my best to focus on the blessings in our lives, the good things that came to be, the positive. But on this day, I can’t help but give into the darkness that creeps upon me.
I catch myself glancing at the clock remembering where I was, what I was doing, how I was feeling, what I was thinking at this moment 2 years ago. I can’t stop it. And, I suppose, in some way, I don’t want to stop it.
I need to feel these things. I need to hurt. I need to remember. I need to be angry. If I don’t allow myself this one day, it feels like nothing else will ever make sense.
Not that things make sense now.
I don’t think anyone can fully understand or appreciate how much that moment in time changed things. Changed everything, in fact.
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