His Hands

I’ve struggled with something for a long time and, as Vance & I were sitting outside last night talking, listening to the crickets and the frogs, my answer came.

I’ve often questioned why it’s so hard for some people who, on the surface, appear to at least go through the motions of trying to be a good people but only insofar as people are watching. Their commitment to truth, honor and righteous living is only on the surface. Why is it their attempts are contingent on their audience or what’s in it for them? Why the lack of sincerity?

None of us are perfect, but our commitment to try to live good lives and do the right thing is what really matters. Whether your basis for living is rooted in religion or not, the desire to be a decent, honest human being who lives a life you don’t have to immerse in deceit and lies should be the same for all of us.

Sometimes it’s easy to understand why people become disenfranchised with religion/church. It is. When you see someone who stands there, high on their self-constructed pedestal, on Sundays acting holy and superior to those around them and you know the deceit they’ve immersed their lives in first hand, it’s hard to reconcile that. Of course I believe they’ll be accountable for their actions at some point (maybe not until the next life), but that knowledge doesn’t always make the “here and now” easier to deal with.

But why the difference? I don’t claim religious or spiritual superiority over anyone. I stumble, I struggle, I screw up, but I keep trying. I am sincerely trying to be a better person and I can’t wrap my head around someone who feels no need to be better, do more, grow and change.  The desire to be better is such an innate part of who I am that I sincerely can’t understand the lack of that in another person.

As we’re sitting there talking, the answer hits me out of nowhere. “They’ve not seen my hand in their lives.” Whoa. What?

I cannot even count the number of times we have seen the hand of the Lord in our lives. I have seen countless miracles happen that I have no doubt came because of divine intervention. I have seen a 2 year old’s broken arm heal in 3 days. I have seen a 6 year old in anaphylactic shock ministered to in a way that can be nothing short of a miracle. I have seen a stranger stop to help when the truck broke down on a deserted mountain road in the middle of nowhere. I have seen my children receive answers to prayers, change hearts, touch lives and bless others because they listened to guidance from an unseen Heavenly Father. I have seen a stranger rescue my son & husband from the side of a mountain because he listened to a prompting to go somewhere he hadn’t planned to go while out hunting. More times than I can count, I have seen His intervention in mine and Vance’s life. The morning of Vance’s accident, I was given a gift that’s almost unspeakable and I heard (yes, literally heard) the Lord’s voice preemptively tell me to trust Him, all would be well in the silence between the time I answered the phone and I heard “He’s been in an accident”.

I could, quite possibly, write a book full of all the miraculous things I’ve seen in my life. I know the reason for a lot of it and that’s not something I can (or will) share, but I know the divine reason and the preparatory purpose for it.

I suppose I just took it for granted that everyone has that gift. In the darkness and stillness of last night, I was told that isn’t the case.

As I’m quickly scanning through all these thoughts, blessing, miracles, moments, gifts (yes, even the trials are a gift if we can but see the blessing in them) I realize how utterly sad it is that there are people who don’t see things that way.

Have I been given an abundance of opportunities to see the Lord’s hand in my life or do I just recognize those moments? I truly think the reason is because once we recognize that hand, we immediately feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It is that gratitude that enables us to see with the eyes our Father intended us to have. If our gratitude is sincere, we are more open to see His hand the next time. If we choose to not recognize that gift for what it is, are we given it again?  I don’t know, but it certainly does give one pause for thought.

I guess my point is that maybe, just maybe, I have such a sincere desire to be a better person is that I’ve seen the hand of the Lord in my life too many times to deny His existence. I know first-hand that He knows me, the needs of my family and what we need to grow and progress. I know that He is aware of our struggles, our heartache and struggles but I also know we don’t walk through them without Him. Unless we choose to.

I trust Him. I’m glad there’s someone who is ultimately in charge and has a plan because I know how much I would screw things up if I relied solely on myself. Maybe that’s the difference. I’m not perfect, but I’m humble enough to realize how imperfect I am. I don’t feel like I need to try and manipulate or control every situation. I don’t need to run other people’s lives. I don’t need to be anything other than honest in my dealings. I don’t need to combat the lies. I need to just stand back and let Him run things.

And I need to remember not everyone is able to see His hand. That’s sad. It really is.

Am I thankful for my trials? Ummm…not at the time. Maybe not even years later, but I’m thankful for the blessings that come from them. I’m thankful to know there’s a reason and a purpose. I’m thankful to know as long as I trust Him, all will be well. Does that mean I look forward to trials? Not a chance. Do I go into them knowing He is with me? Absolutely. My faith is deeper than the circumstances I find myself in. What a blessing that is.

His hand is extended to all who seek it. His hand is there if we quit trying to be in charge all the time. His hand is a hand of love, tenderness and mercy. How sad that many people go through life without recognizing that gift. How blessed am I to see His hands in my life.